Pity Party for 1

So many things going on right now.  I am on an emotional roller coaster.  I cannot WAIT to be done with school.  I really hope I graduate in 6 weeks like planned.  I just get so worried about the exams that I can't concentrate on studying. It sounds ridiculous because most people would be more prone to study if they are worried about the exam, but my mind doesn't work that way.  I think about all the situations that might happen if I don't pass.  It may look like I am reading the book and turning the pages, but I will all of a sudden "read" 10 pages and have no clue what I just read.  I didn't go to class today because we had a midterm, so I emailed that I was "sick".  Luckily, the whole class felt unprepared for the exam and the instructor decided to push the test back a week, so I didn't miss anything it looks like.

That's another thing.  Rasmussen doesn't have a clue what it takes to teach a class.  They think they can hire any old nurse that wants to change their career a little and think they know how to instruct a class of students.  They have no clue what they are doing.  I can say I do.  I have a bachelor's degree in education.  I know how to teach.  My instructors when I was getting my bachelor's had nothing but good things to say of my way of teaching.  My students didn't know I was a "student teacher" they thought I WAS their teacher. That says a lot.  Why I didn't go into teaching is another post all together.  The point is, these nursing instructors are setting us up to fail. There is a reason 50% of the people I started with ended up failing a class and have been put back.  I am one of them.  If I fail this class, I am out of the program.  I am supposed to graduate in 6 weeks and I am scared shitless that I wont.

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On to the next topic.  My body.  I have gained close to 50 lbs since being in a relationship with Nate. We both have a problem with food.  I can't get it back on track unless he gets it back on track.  You know how hard it is to eat a salad when they are eating pizza?  Or not to eat the cookies that are in the house?  I know I need to be disciplined, but I am not. I am weak.  I need help.  We both need help. I signed up for a half marathon in October.  That gives me 8 months to run 13.1 miles.  The hardest part is to get to the gym.

I know I am having a "Sarah pity party for 1". I will get better.  Maybe I just needed to get it out.